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How To Know If You Are A Toxic Friend (And How To Avoid Making Them) - (7 minute read)

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Ah, toxic girlfriends. From Clueless to Mean Girls to Gossip Girl (is it Pretty Little Liars now?), do these only appear in the teenage years?No.

These appear through to adulthood, from college/university to the workplace to motherhood to old age (who's a better grandma?).

Granted, a lot of that nastiness starts in high school and I think some women just never learned their lesson. 

I wish my mom was able to guide me during this time but friendships and relationships weren't exactly dinner table topics. 

So as a record for my daughter (and for anyone else who values good friendships), here are some of my own lessons.

At 16, I was a self-centred, self-absorbed, jealous-laden and gossipy girl who was deeply insecure and constantly competing with her friends to be better than them...and at the same time, struggling privately to manage her depression, self-harm and disordered eating.

As mentioned in a previous post, in Grade 10, I got a boyfriend and became one of those girls who leav…

How Showing Affection Has Changed For Asian Parents (4 minute read)

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I've mentioned that I only speak Chinese to my daughter as I want to preserve the language. This has now evolved into playing Chinese music videos on YouTube.And my daughter loves G.E.M. (Gloria Tang, 鄧紫棋, a Chinese pop star in her 20's who creates addictive ear candy and eye-catching videos that make all the kiddies dance around like corn popping in the microwave)
One day, a particular video of hers' showed up on the YouTube playlist called A.I.N.Y. "愛你" (Love You)

In this video, it shows an Asian guy and girl kissing passionately, doing a full-on makeout session. No nudity. Just a couple of faces biting each other's lips, tongues dancing plus some skinny, pale arms shimmying around clothed bodies. Quite tame IMHO and relatively harmless for a 2-year-old to watch.

However, this video made me cringe. Like I couldn't sit through the whole thing and watch the make-out scenes because it felt awkward and uncomfortable.

There was nothing wrong with the acting, th…

3 Reactions To Crazy Rich Asians - An Asian Mom Blogger's Perspective (4 minute read)

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So recently, my husband and I were able to get away and have a date night (oh just one of those things couples should do every now and then especially when they're busy AF as parents). The hype around Crazy Rich Asians got to me. As mentioned before, I'm not one of those people whofallsprey to FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). But I had to support my Asian brothers and sisters to contribute to its success. 

They (as in the media and the rest of the world) compare the bigness (is that even a word? I can't think of another one at the moment) of this movie to Joy Luck Club which came out 25 years ago.

I saw that one when I was 7 or 8 and I fell asleep. I also didn't understand why Chinese people spoke English in the movie since all the other movies I was watching at the time were Chinese movies. I'm planning to watch it again and maybe it'll resonate with me more now.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed Crazy Rich Asians but mainly for its visually stunning scenes. I've alway…

Having Coffee with Honourable Mary Ng, The First Chinese Canadian Cabinet Minister

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Mary Ng is the Member of Parliament (MP) for Markham-Thornhill & Minister of Small Business and Export Promotion. She is a trailblazer as the first Chinese Canadian cabinet minister.**Click Below To Listen Now** And, she is a self-proclaimed fan of my Blog (What What?). Last week, she was out in Vancouver and wanted to meet me. So we had coffee, chatting about our family and our shared hopes and dreams for empowering the future generation of Asian-Canadians. On our family...I've written about my struggles with my dad and how I've been working to improve my relationship with him.

I remember reading somewhere that Mary considers her father a feminist. I was intrigued so I asked her to tell me more.

She nods and gives me a wide smile, telling me that her dad has always been supportive of everything she does.

Born in Hong Kong in the 1960's, Mary was her parents' first child. She shares with me that after her birth, family and friends approached her dad, making comments …

Collaborating with Tiny Eyes Comics: Why I Love My Mom (Part 3 of 3) - (3 minute read)

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Here is the final part of my collaboration series with Tiny Eyes Comics. Hope you enjoy!**Click Below To Listen Now** Click here for part 1. Click here for part 2.
My mom is a health nut. She's a beast at the gym and a disciplined clean eater. She won't take an Advil for a headache but she'll try a mysterious herbal concoction if it says it's it'll prevent disease XYZ. Her health is her top priority and this stems from having experienced one of life's hardest moments at a young age.

My mom loved her mom (my Por Por). She died too young and too soon to meet my sisters and me. So ever since I was a little kid, to preserve the fond memory of her, my mom would tell us this touching story.

It's the 1970's and my mom is a free-spirited yet strong-willed young woman in her early 20's. She's not one to be held down by tradition. She's a fearless bell-bottom wearing hippie on a mission to experience what the world has to offer.  So much so that she leaves …

Collaborating with Tiny Eyes Comics: Why I Love My Mom (Part 2 of 3) - (3 minute read)

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Here is part 2 of Why I Love My Mom series**Click Below To Listen Now**
Click here for Part 1
Click here for Part 3 Have you ever done the 5 Languages of Love assessment? You take a test and you find out which way you like to receive love: Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch

Mine is a tie between Words of Affirmation and Quality Time.

I've never asked my mom to do the test but I'm assuming they are Quality Time and Acts of Service.

We share one of our primary love languages so it's easy to show our love to each other that way; however, for the ones that we don't share, it takes effort because they don't come naturally to us.

I'm not a service person. I don't show my love by doing things for other people and I don't naturally feel loved when others do things for me. I can come off as unappreciative and entitled...just ask my husband who waters my plants every morning.

However, over the years of self-reflection (Really, it…