Posts

How I'm Changing Asian Stereotype Parent Career Expectations (4 minute read)

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"Doctor or Lawyer. Anything else is not good enough"Ok so my parents have never said that to me and generally, they've been pretty good about respecting my career decisions. 

They've never forced me to go into a specific profession or forbid me from following my dreams (ie. "I'll disown you if..."). It's not like they're unsupportive. Rather, they're apathetic

For instance, they were like "meh" when I shared with them my dreams of being a bestselling author one day. (Yes, they know about this blog and no, they don't read it or care too much except that one time I had coffee with Mary Ng, someone they saw in the local Chinese newspaper).

Perhaps their reaction would have been stronger if I were a man? That, I will never know. 

Despite their indifference, they've frequently implied that those 2 career paths are the epitomes of success.

As mentioned in previous posts, my oldest sister is a doctor. And there have been multiple ins…

How Canadian Cooking Helped Me Embrace My Chinese Culture (5 minute read)

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Food. We need it. We want it. We depend on it. We are what we eat. I started cooking when I was barely 10 years old. With over 20 years of slicing and dicing, stir-frying and baking, steaming and roasting, I'd like to consider myself a foodie who is comfortable in the kitchen.

Although I enjoy food from all countries, I generally make Chinese dishes at home. They're my go-to meals because it's something my husband and I want to preserve for our daughter.  

As much as I love Chinese food now, I wasn't always fond of it. Growing up as a Chinese-Canadian in the 90's, I'd frequently complain about the food at home.


"Dad, we're having bok choy and steamed egg for dinner again? Can't we have pizza?"
"Mom, I can't bring that for lunch. It's too fishy smelling and the kids will laugh at me."
"For my birthday, I want a tooth-achingly sweet cake with real icing not one of those fruit ones from Anna's Cake House."

"Why do w…

Why You Need To Give Yourself Permission To Have A Bad Day (2 minute read)

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Recently, I experienced extreme disappointment. Without going into the details of what happened (just not ready yet), I realized I was coping with these feelings by minimizing them. As a recovering perfectionist, I am always aware of the expectations that I set for myself. It's not that I don't set them high, I just make sure they are realistic, trusting myself that I can manage if I don't meet them. 

There are 4 ways that I manage expectations: 
Treating myself with compassionPracticing gratitudeChanging my mindset Learning from what happenedI've gathered these tactics over the years from conversations, articles, workshops etc. and they've been working for me in my recovery so far. 
That was until recently... I set an expectation, put a ton of effort, invested my time, my emotions and energy into it.

On "game day", it didn't work out. 

So being that well-oiled, "expectation managing" machine, I instantly began my tactics.

I reassured myself that …

4 Reasons Why I Married An Asian Man (4 minute read)

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Recently, I was able to pull away for 99 minutes to watch Netflix's To All The Boys I've Loved Before. There was so much hype about this movie that I had to see it. Plus, I love movies that are filmed in Vancouver. It makes me believe these sappy stories happen in my backyard.

After watching (not reviewing it as I consider it cotton candy for the mind...just enjoy the damn thing), I was browsing my social feeds when I came across an article where the author (Jenny Han) of the book addresses criticism for not including an Asian male love interest

Hmm...

Then I was browsing my Twitter and I saw a post from novelist, Celeste Ng sharing her essay in The Cut about being harassed for marrying a non-Asian man.

In the article, she mentions she is accused of "self-hate" due to a tweet she wrote about how she doesn't find Asian men attractive as they remind her of her cousins. She attempts to address this by stating that this is something she's had to unlearn and is stil…

3 Self-Care Practices That Are Keeping Me Grounded (And How You Can Create Yours) - (7 minute read)

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I have a full-time day job. I'm a mom. I'm a blogger. I have a lot of things going on. It can be overwhelming and almost every month, I reach a breaking point. But somehow, I manage to get myself together, patch up those loose seams and carry on. Last summer, I became fed up of that cycle so I asked myself, "What can I do to minimize the build-up so that the breaking points don't happen?" 

Every day, we are exposed to constant streams of information within access of our fingertips, telling us about the magical ways to live happier, healthier and wealthier. 
Sign-up to receive free access to your very own printable Bad Day Permission Slip so you can take a day to fully feel those feelingsWe can't do everything and we shouldn't do just anything but we can't do nothing; therefore, I think it's important to put a critical lens on all that information and reflect on what actually works for us. 

I began thinking about all the self-improvement information t…