Showing posts from April, 2018

4 Simple Things to Work on For a Healthy Marriage (Part 4 of 4)

If marriage is about Trust, Honesty, Communication, and Respect, it really doesn't seem that scary. I mean these are wholesome concepts that we were taught as kids. What's so scary about that? Am I right? I wish. My biggest fear around marriage is not knowing if I need to let go.
Quality, not QuantityQuality, not Quantity concludes my Marriage Series. 

Imagine you have the perfect relationship (yes - I am using that dreadful word but in a hypothetical situation okay?). You guys are honest with each other, have complete trust, communicate effectively and respect yourselves and each other. 

How do you actually know it's going well? You guys have date nights? You guys can talk about anything and everything? You smile when you see him calling? You get a tingle when her text pops up on your phone? You like being around each other?

For me, the best indicator of how well my marriage is doing is to assess how I feel when I'm heading home from work. 

Do I look forward to giving him …

4 Simple Things to Work on For a Healthy Marriage (Part 3 of 4)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me Cue Aretha, please. So I talked about Trust, Honesty, and Communication. Part 3 of my Marriage Series is about Respect. RespectAs a teen, my dad and I were like oil and water. I was never Daddy's little girl. We would often fight about cleaning my room. It always started with him moving my stuff and me not being able to find it in my room.

I would yell at him for invading my privacy.
Then he would say that I didn't 尊重 (respect) him.  Then I would talk back and say that he didn't 尊重 (respect) me.  Then it would escalate about how it's his house and I'm under his roof. Then I would be like, "I can't wait to move out."  Then he would go, "Wait until you're a parent."  Then I would run to my room and slam the door. 
Rinse and Repeat 
Where am I going with this story?  Self-respect allows for respect to be earned from others. 
I needed to learn how to respect myself before earning my Dad's respect. I had a mes…

4 Simple Things to Work on For a Healthy Marriage (Part 2 of 4)

So being Honest and building Trust with our partner is important. But how can you do those things without working on your Communication?CommunicationThere are so many ways communication can break down between two people:
Is there a language barrier?Even if you speak the same language, are you both speaking the same words and share the same meanings? Do you have different upbringings that make talking about certain topics difficult?Do you listen better when someone is speaking with a certain tone? Certain pitch? Certain speed? With certain body language?What about your partner? How does your partner like to communicate? Is she a texter? Is he a talking machine? Does she think out loud? Does he show his emotions on the outside or hides them on the inside? Is she a literal person? Or does she prefer to read between the lines? How well can you read each other if you didn't speak? Only texted? Or signed? How well can you read each other if you only talked on the phone?My husband and I h…