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Showing posts from May, 2018

5 Steps to Having A Better Relationship With Your Asian Parent (Part 2 of 5)

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So hopefully you've read the first step and taken some time to flesh out WHY you want to improve your relationship with your parents. What's next?My WHY for trying to have a better relationship with my dad is because if I know him better, I can know myself better. The more self-aware I am, the better person I can be to everyone in my sphere of influence.

Storytime...

Years ago, the government agency that I work for went through massive restructuring. The entire senior leadership team disbanded and it left the workforce in a state of disarray.

I was successfully managing a province-wide project at the time and it was making great strides. However, the executive sponsor left and the project was nixed.

There was a ton of ambiguity. I was in my twenties and my job was everything. That project was the first time I had ever led something completely by myself. I had a team and I was dedicated to it with my blood, sweat, and tears. After the project was nixed, I was left feeling like my e…

5 Steps to Having a Better Relationship With Your Asian Parent (Part 1 of 5)

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Oh, Asian Parents. I am one and I have them. Can we all agree that our parents can be annoying? Different generations, different upbringings, different cultures, different languages...it's like they don't get it. Can this change? Yes.

As a Millennial of Asian, immigrant parents, I deserve to have open and honest conversations with them.

I deserve to be supported in pursuit of my hopes and dreams.

I deserve to have my opinions validated. 

I deserve to be treated as a peer during difficult conversations, not shut down because "I'm too young to understand." 

I deserve to have the courage to be vulnerable with my parents, sharing with them who I am without being judged, ridiculed or belittled.

I deserve to learn from them and they deserve to learn from me

I deserve to get to know my parents and they deserve to get to know me

Because at the end of the day, we all deserve to understand ourselves so we can become better parents, better mentors, better role models than they …

What No One Tells You About Asian Parent Expectations

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Have you ever seen the High Expectations Asian Father meme?  Or remember Amy Chua back in the early 2010's when her controversial book about Tiger Mothers blew up around the world? Some praised her and some threatened her.

I was doing my Master's at the time and they were talking about her book on the radio and the hosts asked listeners to call in.  I really wanted to call in but I felt I could only speak of my experiences as a child.  Now as a parent, I feel I have come full circle to be able to give a more meaningful perspective. 
I am a child of Asian immigrant parents. I was that scholarship kid who got straight A's, who practiced piano, who spent Saturday mornings at Chinese school. I was that responsible, mature, always does the right thing kid...well at least on the outside.
Other parents would often see my accomplishments, manners, ambition and character, and hope that their own kid would strive to be more like me. I'm not tooting my own horn. I was that kid. Assum…