Showing posts from November, 2018

How I'm Changing Asian Stereotype Parent Career Expectations (4 minute read)

"Doctor or Lawyer. Anything else is not good enough"Ok so my parents have never said that to me and generally, they've been pretty good about respecting my career decisions. 

They've never forced me to go into a specific profession or forbid me from following my dreams (ie. "I'll disown you if..."). It's not like they're unsupportive. Rather, they're apathetic

For instance, they were like "meh" when I shared with them my dreams of being a bestselling author one day. (Yes, they know about this blog and no, they don't read it or care too much except that one time I had coffee with Mary Ng, someone they saw in the local Chinese newspaper).

Perhaps their reaction would have been stronger if I were a man? That, I will never know. 

Despite their indifference, they've frequently implied that those 2 career paths are the epitomes of success.

As mentioned in previous posts, my oldest sister is a doctor. And there have been multiple ins…

How Canadian Cooking Helped Me Embrace My Chinese Culture (5 minute read)

Food. We need it. We want it. We depend on it. We are what we eat. I started cooking when I was barely 10 years old. With over 20 years of slicing and dicing, stir-frying and baking, steaming and roasting, I'd like to consider myself a foodie who is comfortable in the kitchen.

Although I enjoy food from all countries, I generally make Chinese dishes at home. They're my go-to meals because it's something my husband and I want to preserve for our daughter.  

As much as I love Chinese food now, I wasn't always fond of it. Growing up as a Chinese-Canadian in the 90's, I'd frequently complain about the food at home.

"Dad, we're having bok choy and steamed egg for dinner again? Can't we have pizza?"
"Mom, I can't bring that for lunch. It's too fishy smelling and the kids will laugh at me."
"For my birthday, I want a tooth-achingly sweet cake with real icing not one of those fruit ones from Anna's Cake House."

"Why do w…

Why You Need To Give Yourself Permission To Have A Bad Day (2 minute read)

Recently, I experienced extreme disappointment. Without going into the details of what happened (just not ready yet), I realized I was coping with these feelings by minimizing them. As a recovering perfectionist, I am always aware of the expectations that I set for myself. It's not that I don't set them high, I just make sure they are realistic, trusting myself that I can manage if I don't meet them. 

There are 4 ways that I manage expectations: 
Treating myself with compassionPracticing gratitudeChanging my mindset Learning from what happenedI've gathered these tactics over the years from conversations, articles, workshops etc. and they've been working for me in my recovery so far. 
That was until recently... I set an expectation, put a ton of effort, invested my time, my emotions and energy into it.

On "game day", it didn't work out. 

So being that well-oiled, "expectation managing" machine, I instantly began my tactics.

I reassured myself that …