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Showing posts from June, 2018

How Therapy Can Make You A Better Asian Mom (5 minute read)

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Does the word therapy still relate to"crazy people"? Like, "Wow, there must be something seriously wrong with you!" "Can't you just keep that shit inside or talk to your friends about that over some wine and call it a night?"

**Click Below To Listen**  You may not say that out loud but you may believe that. Your view of therapy depends on your level of understanding of what it is and your inherent biases (how you were raised/social/cultural influences).

When I was growing up, the idea of getting help for your mental health was rarely talked about. And when it was discussed, it was usually about a Hong Kong celebrity going to rehab.

So 90's Hollywood movies and TV shows became my source of information.

In the sitcoms or romantic comedies, the line "Well my therapist says..." would be something a kooky character would say to the main character as a joke.

Cue Laugh Track...jump to the next scene

In dramas, I'd see unhappy couples on the verge …

5 Steps to Having a Better Relationship With Your Asian Parent (Part 5 of 5) - (3 minute read)

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Although the title of this series is "5 Steps to Having a Better Relationship With Your Asian Parent," it really isn't about steps. Just because you've completed some steps doesn't mean you get your reward. It's not a recipe where you get to have your cake and eat it too. 

**Click Below To Listen** 
Click for Step 1 (Why?) Click for Step 2 (What?)
Click for Step 3 (How?)
Click for Step 4 (When?)

The journey to improving any connection with another is actually a cycle. And at the end of the first cycle, you need to reassess, take a look at who you are and do some self-reflection before you start your second cycle. 

Personally, I've been on this journey to improve my relationship with my dad for over 5 years and I'm still on it. 
A few months ago, I'm in my car about to leave an off-site meeting to go back to the office. 

My phone 'pings.' I want to check it but I don't. My mind is wondering who the email is from when I begin backing out of the p…

5 Steps to Having a Better Relationship With Your Asian Parent (Part 4 of 5) - (4 minute read)

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Each step in this series talks about WhyWhat and How to have a better relationship with your Asian Parent. Now that you've had some initial conversations, what do you do when it doesn't meet your expectations?**Click Below To Listen**  Click for Step 1 (Why?) Click for Step 2 (What?)
Click for Step 3 (How?)
Click for Step 5 (Who?)

What if it's like talking to a wall? What if your parents just don't get what you're trying to do? 

To be honest, sometimes we just need to accept that our parents are limited in their ability to learn and grow. They are human. And an older human than us. They've had more time on earth, doing the same things, getting the same results. 

Therefore, they are more set in their ways and their minds are more closed off than ours. Depending on their level of emotional intelligence and their ability to connect with you, you absolutely cannot control and/or change who they are.

Here's a moment (one of many) when I had to accept my dad for who he i…

5 Steps to Having a Better Relationship With Your Asian Parent (Part 3 of 5) - (4 minute read)

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Now that you've taken some time to think about why and what you want to improve in your relationship with your parents. How do you actually do it? Where do you even begin? **Click Below To Listen**  Click for Step 1 (Why?)

Click for Step 2 (What?)
Click for Step 4 (When?)

Click for Step 5 (Who?)
One day, I just sat my dad down and said, 
"OK so I hate you but I think we should know each other better before you die. I also need you to tell me why you're such an asshole so I don’t become an asshole like you one day."
Right...I'm kidding. I did not say that. Because that would have ended well...not (Borat)

Maybe you don't really know how to start because in those moments when you're in their presence, the way they treat you and your reaction to their actions and words prevent you from wanting to have meaningful conversations. You just don’t have the patience for it (Ain't nobody got time for that)

It's like that comment they made about your career, your boyfr…